Life Lesson #2

I have posted more blogs this week than I have in the past 3 months! I don't know what's gotten into me. I guess things have slowed down a little, so my mind is free to wonder again. Better watch out!

This post is #2 in my new series, Life Lessons (see #1 for the explanation) and it kind of goes along with the first one on disappointment. So, Life Lesson #2 is............

'Judge Not, Lest You Be Judged'

I promise not all the lessons will be this 'heavy,' but writing about expectations that can lead to disappointment got me to thinking about judgement and how many of us (myself included) spend alot of time and energy judging others. Now, I know what you are saying..."Emilee ~ not me! I certainly do not judge anyone." Oh yeah? Really? Well, let me give you a few scenarios and you tell me whether you've ever had these same thoughts...

~When you see a rather large person eating a big meal, do you ever think "doesn't she know that he shouldn't be eating that? Why isn't she having a salad and a diet coke?"

~When you encounter a mom with lots of screaming children in Wal-Mart, have you ever said to yourself, "why did she have so many children if she can't control them?"

~Have you ever seen someone from your church out having a drink or buying a bottle of wine and thought, "what is he doing? he isn't supposed to be DRINKING! He must not be the Christian I thought him to be."

~Have you ever known a man that cheated on his wife or known a wife who stayed with her husband after he cheated multiple times? I bet you thought, "I would NEVER do that. She must be weak or he must have a problem."

Well, if you have found yourself in any of these situations, then you, my friend, are a judger. The problem with judging is that you are expecting (remember the word 'expectations') others to behave, think and act just like you do. You are holding others to your own standards, instead of trying to understand their position. You never know why the fat person eats, the mom continues to have multiple children, the Christian drinks, the man cheats or the wife stays. You don't know their situations, their backgrounds, or their personal beliefs and you don't really care to know. You just want them to behave, act and think just like you.

It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round and just because you believe a certain way, doesn't necessarily mean it is the 'right' way or even the 'only' way. I wouldn't want someone judging me for my behavior or actions, although it has happened many times. And, I have judged others ~ too many times. There is only one judge, so maybe we should leave the judging to Him and try to understand the other person a little more and expect them to be just like us a little less.

And, that is your Life Lesson #2!

Life Lessons...

I've been thinking of starting a new series of posts called 'Life Lessons.' This would be when I share with you a certain lesson that I've learned throughout my long 29 year life...in hopes of encouraging you, or at the very least ~ keeping you from making some dumb mistake like I have. Got it?!?! Good!

So...here it goes ~ Life Lesson #1:

People are going to disappoint you....let you down...not do as you expect them to...fail to live up to your standards. You see, I know a little something about high standards. Throughout my life, the standards that I set for myself were so high, you'd need to catch a jet plane to find them. I had to get the perfect grades, had to have the perfect hair, and had to be the 'best' at everything I did. I am still like that to some degree, yet I don't feel that I am a 'perfectionist,' in the sense that I need everything in order...because I certainly don't. I do feel that I am a 'perfectionist' in that I need to do the best in all that I do. I have that internal drive that does not push me to be competitive with others, but only with myself. Okay ~ enough analyzing me and back to life lesson #1!

By maintaining these high standards for myself, it has caused me to create pretty high standards for those around me. There is a quote that says, ""Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed" - Alexander Pope. When you expect nothing, then you can't be disappointed. I can't seem to get that through my thick skull though, so I continue to build up false expectations for myself and for those around me, and then get disappointed when I fail or when they let me down. It's a vicious cycle, let me tell ya!

It seems that sometimes this happens to those that I love the most, from my family, to past friends, and past boyfriends. Through many trials and many errors, I have learned that no one, including me, will ever live up to my expectations because no one (well there's this one guy), is perfect. We will always be disappointed with ourselves and with others because we are not able to live up to perfection and we all have free will, so we are able to make our own choices, and sometimes our own choices will cause others to be disappointed in us.

The only one who will never disappoint us will be Jesus, because he did live the perfect life and was free from sin. He will never let you down and he will always be there for you, even if it is in ways that you didn't expect or plan for. So, the lesson to learn is to a) cut yourself and others some slack and bring down those expections a little and b) remember that even when other disappoint you, Jesus will never do so, so put your faith and trust in Him and not in man.

And, that my friends, is your first of many Life Lessons to come!

How To Do a One-Year-Old Birthday!

So, I know you all have been hanging on the edge of your seats wondering about how the first birthday party went on Saturday, right? Right?!?! Well, let me not disappoint you by giving you a full recap of the day, including pictures. Because I wouldn't be me if I didn't take every opportunity to post some pictures of my wonderful son!



I thought that the planning of the party was going to be minimal. I mean, after you do a 500 person, $250 a plate, black tie affair, a one-year-old party is a piece of cake, right? Hmmmmm....let me get back to you on that. After we broke our backs and our bank account trying to get the yard spruced up, there was still planning, shopping and cleaning to do, which mostly fell to me. So, I planned, shopped and cleaned until I was exhausted. At midnight Friday night, I had the house spotless, the food and favors bought, and the timeline going for in the morning. The only thing left to do was download the existing pictures and videos from the cameras, get them charged, get me showered and in the bed. That's when it happened. In an effort to download the videos from the camcorder, I accidently hit that teeny-tiny button...you know the one that automatically deletes all the videos without asking you if that's what you really want to do? In an instant, every second of my son's recorded first year of life vanished. Into thin air. Without even asking me. His first newborn days, when he learned to roll over, Christmas, pulling up, crawling and his baby dedication. All gone. Now, I know you are asking me, "Emilee, why hadn't you already downloaded those videos before midnight on the night before the party?" Hello...you might refer to my previous procrastination post. SO, anyway ~ all of the videos were gone. But, whatever ~ it was midnight and at least it was clear so I could get the party on there.

So, Saturday a.m. came and we got busy setting up tables, getting food ready, and balloons up. Good thing I had my handy-dandy timeline done because everything ran like clockwork. Rhett went down for a nap at 10:30 and got up just in time to get dressed and greet the guests, like my grandparents who arrive an hour early everywhere they go.

I was nervous about having enough activities to entertain the kids, but we ended up not having as many little ones as I thought, so it wasn't too much of a problem. My best friend, Abby, who lives outside of Atlanta, sent us a blowup pool and a bunch of balls, which was the big hit of the day.



The menu was hotdogs, hamburgers, the fixins (which I managed to leave in the fridge, only to discover after the party), potato salad, potatoes and onions, chips and sausage dip, which was awesome. For dessert, we had a 'decorate your own cupcake' station, with vanilla and chocolate cupcakes. Guests could choose from toppings like nerds, sour worms, whoppers, all kinds of sprinkles, chocolate, white chocolate or peanut butter chips, and chopped nuts. This was a big hit with the kids and adults alike.





After eating, we gave Rhett his cake that his CeeCee made for him. Much to my surprise (and his daddy's enjoyment), he didn't want anything to do with it. That is, until Branden accidently mashed his face down into it! Too bad I didn't get that with the camera, but it's on video! That is a memory to last a lifetime.



We got him cleaned up and then opened gifts, his favorite of which was the red wagon my grandparents got him. Man, he loves to ride in that thing! The cutest part of the entire day was when Evan, our friends' Jody and Ashley's 21 month old, decided he wanted to pull Rhett in the wagon. Priceless!





After all the hoopla was over, Rhett was pretty cranky ~ so we decided the best thing to do would be to....cut his hair. This was not my idea, but I'm pretty sure my husband was going to divorce me and my granddaddy might write me out of the will if we didn't cut his hair soon. So, my aunt brought her scissors and she got to work. He wasn't a big fan of hers, to say the least. At one point, he started waving 'bye-bye' to her because he wanted her to leave. But, it got done and I have to say ~ he's still a cutie! But, he sure does look more grown up.





All in all, it was a great party! We spent his actual birthday together on Monday, with a trip to Zaxby's and Wal-Mart, a couple of hundred spins in the red wagon and a few dunks in the pool. Oh ~ and I finished the book I've been glued to, so stay tuned for a book review coming shortly!

Happy Birthday!

I cannot believe that my little baby ~ the one that I prayed for, tried so hard for, carried for nine months, gained 70 lbs. for, and had my stomach cut wide open for,is ONE today! Where did the time go?!? I still remember every detail of that pregnancy and delivery. I don't know if those memories ever fade, do they? I talk to women whose children are 50 years old and they can tell you everything about their pregnancies and deliveries.

This year has been unbelievable ~ so much has changed for us and for him. He has gone from a not-so-tiny, sleeping, eating, pooping newborn to an active, discovering toddler who never stops.Sometimes ~ when he's in the bed with me in the morning, or going down for a nap and snuggles close, closes his eyes and gets really still ~ my little newborn comes back to me and all is right with the world. While I loved and will always treasure that new baby stage, this toddler stage is so much fun. When he discovers how to throw a ball, learn a new word, or find joy in the smallest thing, we discover, learn and find joy right along with him. In many ways, I have learned how to appreciate the small stuff in life all over again and it's awesome.

I look forward to the next year or growing and discovering too. For now, I will cherish where we've been and enjoy right where we are. I'll leave you with the past year in review (I'll post some pics from the party in a seperate post), which was a blast! (Because showing pics of my little boy is my favorite thing to do!). Enjoy!

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary...How Does Your Garden Grow?

...with silver bells and cockle shells, or pretty maids all in a row.

Well, not so much. But, this weekend we planted some real seeds in the yard and also some seeds of faith in the heart of our little boy. We got our garden going this weekend, by planting all new flower beds around the house and yards, trying to get ready for Rhett's birthday party on Saturday. (I'll post somed updated planning info. on that later, so stay tuned). This weekend was one of the best ever, since the three of us spend Friday and Sat. in the yard, getting dirty and planting new life to spruce up our place...I mean, we've only been there three years!


(this is our side gate, leading into the back yard. It was previously just a big empty space. Below is our front porch, which had the jasmine, but didn't have anything special in the flower beds. Please ignore the white trash chairs on the front porch. They are from Halloween. Yes, I know we are slack ~ thanks).





(this is the bed in our back yard that is a work in progress. We are planting azalea bushes all around the trees and then will fill in with pine straw. The wire is supposed to keep Dixie out. Yeah, right!).

Saturday night, we left the little one with his grandparents and went downtown with some friends for a yummy dinner and catching up on the porch at Tubby's. It was kinda pricey, but we had a great time reconnecting with them and with each other. We both decided we need date nights more often.




We wrapped up the weekend with Rhett's Baby Dedication at the church where we stood up and declared our intention to raise him in the church and to know and love the Lord. I think it's pretty cool that as I watch those flowers and plants bloom and grow in my yard over the next years, I will also be reminded of that commitment we made and hopefully be able to see the fruits of the spirit bloom and grow in his life as well.







Overall, this weekend ranks as one of my favorites. After all of the trials and tribulations we've been through lately, it's good to be on the other side of it and to have some peace and calm in our lives, to enjoy life and each other, soaking up the Sun and the Son, and loving life!

Weekend Wrap-Up!

This weekend was egg-stra special (don't you just love the corniness!) since it was Easter, plus my grandfather's 80th birthday. We were busy, busy, busy getting ready for the party at my mom's house with cleaning on Friday and cooking on Saturday, plus a little planting in the yard at our own house and getting peanut ready for easter! I wish we had taken more pictures, as I didn't get any at the party on Saturday. Rhett was a lot cranky, so I spent most of my time worrying about him. We had fantastic low country boil and birthday cakes under a breezy southern sky, followed by an Easter egg hunt for the kids. Because Rhett was so fussy, he got pushed around in the stroller by my aunt instead of hunting for eggs. :( Maybe next year!

Sunday brought Easter ~ my favorite holiday! I love it because we get to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus, who proved that he is a living God, still as relevant today as he was all those years ago. It is because of Easter and the evidence of God's Grace, that we have hope for the future. I also love it because the weather is nice, all things are new (clothes included), the flowers are in bloom and families get together without all the stress and fuss of Christmas. My brother and his girlfriend were in town, so we went to church with them and then ate lunch at the local Mexican place (classy, I know!). I had to keep the nursery, so I didn't get all 'gussied' up. Here are some of our pictures:








Oh yeah ~ and the Easter Bunny came a hoppin' our way! Rhett must've been a very good boy b/c he got a basket full of goodies ~ including a 'Bunnytown' DVD, (which is long enough to hold his attention for me to do this post), his very first bible, which is beautifully illustrated, a new bunny named Hoppy and some yogurt melts, which were his favorite thing of all!







All in all, it was a great weekend and a great first Easter for Rhett. I hope to pick up some heavily discounted Easter decorations this week, so I can get those more 'Eastery' next year! Stay tuned to see what I find! Have a great week! :)

His Grace Is Enough...

Today is my dad's birthday! He is 54 years young and while I have always cherished my relationship with him ~ the past four years have been exceptionally sweet. You see, this time four years ago, he was lying in St. Joseph's ICU ~ recovering from major surgery and getting ready for the fight of his life. See the details below...

This time of year is always bittersweet for me. As the temps get warmer (well, except for this week, which is weird!) and Spring is in full bloom, I am drawn back to a time in my life that is not quite so bright and cheery, but instead is dark, scary and full of sadness. It was during this season four years ago that we almost lost my dad, an event that started my family out on a journey that has led us to where we are today.

We were celebrating my mom's and brother's birthday at Longhorn's for dinner and I noticed that my dad's eyes and the back of his neck were yellowed. I asked him about it, but he said he was tired and didnt' feel all that well. This is a man who was working almost 80 hours a week, so I figured he deserved it and I should leave well enough alone. Soon after, he developed a nagging cough that kept getting worse and worse. Finally, my mom and I decided to take him to the emergency room on a Sunday morning. When they admitted him, his O2 levels were at less than 20%, so low that the nurse thought the machine was broken. They immediately got him into ICU, where he was diagnosed with pneumonia and congestive heart failure. Over the course of a week, they pumped off over 30 lbs. of fluid from his body ~ finally a reason for all that weight gain! Later, daddy would tell us that he could hear 'swishing noises' when he walked around but didn't "really think it was serious." lol. While doing a routine chest x-ray, the doctors found a growth on his rib cage, that would eventually be diagnosed as a fast growing osteosarcoma tumor that ate completely through one of his ribs and was working on two more.

The days and nights at St. Joseph's blur together from there. Mom and I would leave at 6 a.m. to be at the hospital in time to catch the doctors. The day would continue in that dreaded waiting room, with 'chats' with the doctors and specialist in that little 'conference room,' each one bringing more bad news. It seemed that his days might be numbered. People would come and visit, pray for us and over us, bring us food and offer us comfort. But we were numb and overwhelmed with all of the new language that became a regular part of our vocabulary. From osteosarcoma, to platelet levels, to all the different meds...it was all overwhelming and scary.

Eventually, they did surgery here in Savannah to remove the tumor and the attached ribs, replacing that section of his ribcage with mesh chicken wire. My brother, Branden and I went to church on Easter Sunday. The musical was a special program dedicated to those who were hurting and struggling in their lives. I felt like I couldn't get to the alter fast enough. I fell at the feet of God and wept for the best man I had ever known. We were invited to several family's houses for Easter dinner, but none of us felt like socializing. Feeling like orphans, we celebrated Easter at El Potro's in Rincon and headed to the hospital. Eventually, dad left the hospital on his 50th birthday.

My best friend, Abby was also getting married that weekend, so with great fear, I left his bedside to stand beside her while she said 'I do.' The wedding was great and I very much enjoyed getting to 'cut loose' and try to forget everything that was going on back home. That break was short-lived as Branden and I returned home to discover that my parents decided to go to MD Anderson in Texas to be evaluated for the cancer treatment. It seemed my dad had a very rare type of bone cancer which the doctors here in Savannah had never treated before. So, on Memorial Day Weekend ~ off they went to be evaluated. None of us would realize that it would be six months before they would return. After being looked at by the Osteosarcoma Team at the best hospital in the country, it was decided that he would need to stay in Houston for treatments for at least six months. Oh ~ and they would want to start that Monday. In a state of shock, my mom and dad circled Houston ~ a city they had never even visited before, trying to find a place to live. My dad would be in the hospital for an entire week to receive treatments and be watched. Then he would be released to recover and then start the process over again two weeks later. They needed to find a place where my mom felt safe enough to stay on her own, that was close enough to the hospital and be something they could afford. God provided when a church called her on her cell and offered a small apartment that fit all of the criteria. We wept and celebrated.

In between being released from the hospital in Savannah and going to Texas, Branden and I decided to go ahead and get engaged. Many people in my life didn't really understand this decision...my mother included. But, I knew that my time with my dad might be limited. I couldn't imagine getting married without him there to walk me down the aisle. I also knew in my heart that he would need something to fight for...a goal for getting through this terrible tragedy. Walking me down the aisle ended up being the perfect thing. Branden and I had already been talking marriage, so it was natural to do it sooner than later. So, on May 5th ~ he proposed and I accepted. We waited to hear from the doctors about when my dad might be able to come home before we set a wedding date. They called to say that we could get married on October 1st. That suited Branden just fine since that was always UGA's open weekend, so our anniversary wouldn't ever fall on gameday. Hahaha.

The rest of the story is in the details. We went through times that were excrutiatingly lonely. My brother, Branden and I were running the home, paying the bills and cutting the grass while they fought to keep my dad alive. My mom and I planned the wedding through phone calls and emails and tried to make the best of a bad situation. We saw them once every couple of months as they got to come visit or we went there and we all tried to hang to the string that seemed to be slowly unraveling.

By the last week in Sept., I think we had all had enough. I called them panicked about the wedding on a Sunday night at 10 p.m. After that phone call, they made a brave decision to pack up and come home. It was just time. They drove all night and arrived home by mid-morning on a Monday. We were married on a beautiful Saturday a.m. and bald-headed and frail, my daddy was able to walk me down the aisle. Pastor Wesley announced that he didn't know what was a more beautiful sight, me as the bride, or him just being there. I like to think it was both us standing together, with tears in our eyes. As a matter of fact, as we walked through that church, I don't think there was a dry eye in the pews.

Against the wishes of his doctors, we all decided that it would be best for him to stay here. God provided some wonderful doctors here in Savannah, where he finished up treatments and is still continually monitored. There is always the fear that the cancer will return. But for today, we praise God for the total healing that he did in my dad's life then and continues to do now.

You see, I titled this post, "His Grace Is Enough" because it was through this experience that I learned the truth in that statement. Many times during that ordeal, God's grace was all that we had to hold onto. And, many times since then, He has proven himself over and again. You see, even if He hadn't healed my dad, His grace would have been enough in that situation as well. While I am thankful that He did, I know that no matter what, God has a plan for each of our lives...a plan that He will work out, irregardless of what we think, or feel, or act. And no matter what we do, He will choose to work all things out for good for those that love Him and called to His purposes. God only wants good for us...but it is up to Him to decide how we get there. And along the way, there will be trials and tribulations. We will be held to the fire, but we will not be burned. We will wonder in the desert, but will not be lost. We will hang on the cross, but we will not die ~ not spiritually anyway. Because we believe in Jesus and we trust in Him, His grace is the manna we will get for today.

When my parents were gone and it seemed to me that I was lost and wondering in the desert, I would listen to 'It Is Well With My Soul,' a version by Jennifer Knapp. That song ministered so much to my heart because it says exactly how I felt ~ that no matter I go through, it is well with my soul because my soul trusts in God. It is still one of my all-time favorite songs.

Whatever you are struggling with today, please know and be encouraged of God's grace and his plans for your life. He never gives up and he never grows weary. He is there for you, just as he was for me. Tonight, we are grilling steaks, roasting potatoes and celebrating my dad's life and the miracle that he is! On Saturday, we will have a family gathering to celebrate my granddad's 80th birthday. And Sunday, we will celebrate our Risen Christ, who death could not defeat and who will one day, be returning for those that believe in him.

God is good, isn't he? All the time...

First Birthday Plans....

Since this is what has been consuming my thoughts lately, I thought I would share what is making me neurotic right now! Rhett's very 1st birthday is this month and it's time for me to start making plans! I have been putting this off until 'after the golf tournament (like everything else), but have decided to get busy with the party planning, which is one of my very favorite things to do.

Here are the plans so far. We are having a small gathering with family and friends on April 25th. It'll be an easy cookout with hotdogs and hamburgers and all the fixins. Instead of doing a 'birthday cake,' I want to do cupcakes since they will be easier for the little kids to eat. Plus, I want to setup a 'decorate your own cupcake' center (outside of course!) for the kids to keep them occupied! I have scheduled this from 12 p.m. til 'naptime', which will be good b/c it'll be between his a.m. and afternoon naps. I don't really have a 'theme', but if I had to label it, I would say it's 'dots and stripes.' This is what I have together so far...

Invites:
After obsessing looking at these for awhile, I decided to design my own. I just can't see paying $40 for something I can DIY. I mean, I have photoshop and a little graphic design experience, so what the hay. This is what I came up with:



I can print these on cardstock, cut them in half and I already the envelopes that fit. I am going to get some red ric-rac to put around the edges, so it should be really cute! I will post the finished product.

Attire:
I LOVE The Dizzy Dragonfly! I have ordered the CUTEST birthday hat from these wonderful ladies. The pattern will be blue and white striped, with a red #1, ric-rac, and pom poms on the top! Here is a sample of one:



I also have a matching shortall outfit that is made out of the same fabric with a cupcake embroidered on it. This was $30, but I think he can wear it all year, since he will be 'ONE' all year long. Here is a sample of that (this is the crab outfit, which I will definitely be getting for the summer)Imagine this with blue and white seersucker and a cute red, blue and yellow cupcake on the front:



For decorations, I will keep it simple with balloons, plates, napkins, etc. I am continually looking for cute decorating ideas, party favors and activities for the little ones. Also, I found a great idea to write a letter to your child on his/her first birthay. I will definitely be doing this. I will update you as I keep planning!