Life Lesson #3 ~ People Will Never Change...

After I wrote the first one of these things, my mom asked me where it came from and why I decided to write on that particular subject. There might be some things going on in my life that prompt me to think on these things, but for the most part ~ I get these ideas in my head and cannot rest until I get them out on paper (or keyboard...or whatever). Tonight is one of those nights. I don't know why I got to thinking about this subject, but it does go hand in hand with the judgement and expectations posts...

Life Lesson #3 then, is to accept that people are not going to change, so you might as well stop trying so hard. You see, we are all inherently born with our personality, our ticks, our habits, our faults and our successes. We are naturally good at some things and bad at others. We are who we are, as God created us and for the most part, we will stay that way for our entire lives. We can try to be different, but even with much effort and sustainability, usually those attempts to be someone that we aren't fail. Me, for example ~ I am not athletic. I have never been athletic. I hate to get hot and I hate to sweat and I am extremely uncoordinated. Those are a few things that aren't very conducive to athleticism. When I was young, I sat down in the outfield during my softball games, making bracelets out of grass. I didn't learn how to ride my bike until I was seven and I still can't serve a volleyball facing forwards. My husband is a workout freak (and I mean that affectionately, of course.) He would live at the gym if I let him and he is extremely careful about what he eats. When I get on the gym-kick and I actually try to go a few times a week, his entire face lights up when I walk into the workout room. I'm sure he would love for me to love working out, just like him. But, I just don't have it in me. I mean, have I mentioned how much I hate working out?!? So, he has learned to accept that is not something that I am going to change...much like I have about his insane use of ketchup (and the other 100 things that drive me crazy), but that's for a later post.

It's funny to me when I talk to my grandparents, all of which are in their late 70's and have been married over 50 years. My grandmother still complains about how much my grandfather sits in his chair, something he has done for my entire life. My other grandmother doesn't understand why her hubby doesn't enjoy going to the movies or going shopping with her, two things I have never actually witnessed him doing. 55 years and these women are still wondering why their husbands act a certain why and have been trying to change them to be who they want them to be instead of accepting them for who they really are. I have also witnessed this in other ways, as couples who go through struggles seem to only focus on the faults of each other and expect them to change behaviors that they have had for their entire lives. It's just not going to happen. Instead of focusing on the negative in others that we want to change, we should work on accepting them as they are and working them into our own lives.

In this world, there are few people who will actually accept you for who you really are and not want you to change to fit their standards. In my own life, I really have only had a couple of people who have accepted me completely and loved me just for who I was without putting any expectations or standards on me. These people are my truest friends and the ones that have known me the deepest and have loved me anyway. Those relationships are rare and hard to find.

For the most part, we are always trying to change others to fit in with our own standards and to fit with our own lives. What we need to do is accept them for who they are and show them true love. After all, All we need is love, right? That's what I thought...

Home Sweet Home...

I've been out of town most of this week, so I am just getting caught up on my emails, FB, and bloggers. My trip was to the big city of Columbus, GA, which was about a 4 1/2 hour drive with my boss. We were supposed to be going to help with a fundraiser for our JA office over there, but when we got there, the girl in the office didn't have anything done like she was supposed to. So, who got the job done? Me, of course. While I was more than annoyed with her, I really do enjoy putting together events, so it wasn't terrible. The night went off without a hitch and I actually got to sit down and enjoy my dinner, for the first time at one of these things. After it's all said and done, I just love watching it all come together and know that I made it happen and that it was a success. While so many were complimentary of the evening, including my boss and our president, I get much more satisfaction internally, knowing that I did the best I could and all turned out well.

I think all faired well on the homefront and I'm so grateful that my mom and mother-in-law helped out with Rhett an I didn't have to worry about his well-being. We are so blessed to have such a wonderful and supportive family. While I certainly enjoyed the DoubleTree in Columbus and got to know the manager of Houlihan's on a first name basis, I am so happy to be home sweet home! We have Mother's Day celebrations this weekend and I have some cute ideas for gifts...so I'll post later on how those turn out. Happy Friday and Happer Mother's Day to all of you WonderWomen out there! :)

Life Lesson #2

I have posted more blogs this week than I have in the past 3 months! I don't know what's gotten into me. I guess things have slowed down a little, so my mind is free to wonder again. Better watch out!

This post is #2 in my new series, Life Lessons (see #1 for the explanation) and it kind of goes along with the first one on disappointment. So, Life Lesson #2 is............

'Judge Not, Lest You Be Judged'

I promise not all the lessons will be this 'heavy,' but writing about expectations that can lead to disappointment got me to thinking about judgement and how many of us (myself included) spend alot of time and energy judging others. Now, I know what you are saying..."Emilee ~ not me! I certainly do not judge anyone." Oh yeah? Really? Well, let me give you a few scenarios and you tell me whether you've ever had these same thoughts...

~When you see a rather large person eating a big meal, do you ever think "doesn't she know that he shouldn't be eating that? Why isn't she having a salad and a diet coke?"

~When you encounter a mom with lots of screaming children in Wal-Mart, have you ever said to yourself, "why did she have so many children if she can't control them?"

~Have you ever seen someone from your church out having a drink or buying a bottle of wine and thought, "what is he doing? he isn't supposed to be DRINKING! He must not be the Christian I thought him to be."

~Have you ever known a man that cheated on his wife or known a wife who stayed with her husband after he cheated multiple times? I bet you thought, "I would NEVER do that. She must be weak or he must have a problem."

Well, if you have found yourself in any of these situations, then you, my friend, are a judger. The problem with judging is that you are expecting (remember the word 'expectations') others to behave, think and act just like you do. You are holding others to your own standards, instead of trying to understand their position. You never know why the fat person eats, the mom continues to have multiple children, the Christian drinks, the man cheats or the wife stays. You don't know their situations, their backgrounds, or their personal beliefs and you don't really care to know. You just want them to behave, act and think just like you.

It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round and just because you believe a certain way, doesn't necessarily mean it is the 'right' way or even the 'only' way. I wouldn't want someone judging me for my behavior or actions, although it has happened many times. And, I have judged others ~ too many times. There is only one judge, so maybe we should leave the judging to Him and try to understand the other person a little more and expect them to be just like us a little less.

And, that is your Life Lesson #2!

Life Lessons...

I've been thinking of starting a new series of posts called 'Life Lessons.' This would be when I share with you a certain lesson that I've learned throughout my long 29 year life...in hopes of encouraging you, or at the very least ~ keeping you from making some dumb mistake like I have. Got it?!?! Good!

So...here it goes ~ Life Lesson #1:

People are going to disappoint you....let you down...not do as you expect them to...fail to live up to your standards. You see, I know a little something about high standards. Throughout my life, the standards that I set for myself were so high, you'd need to catch a jet plane to find them. I had to get the perfect grades, had to have the perfect hair, and had to be the 'best' at everything I did. I am still like that to some degree, yet I don't feel that I am a 'perfectionist,' in the sense that I need everything in order...because I certainly don't. I do feel that I am a 'perfectionist' in that I need to do the best in all that I do. I have that internal drive that does not push me to be competitive with others, but only with myself. Okay ~ enough analyzing me and back to life lesson #1!

By maintaining these high standards for myself, it has caused me to create pretty high standards for those around me. There is a quote that says, ""Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed" - Alexander Pope. When you expect nothing, then you can't be disappointed. I can't seem to get that through my thick skull though, so I continue to build up false expectations for myself and for those around me, and then get disappointed when I fail or when they let me down. It's a vicious cycle, let me tell ya!

It seems that sometimes this happens to those that I love the most, from my family, to past friends, and past boyfriends. Through many trials and many errors, I have learned that no one, including me, will ever live up to my expectations because no one (well there's this one guy), is perfect. We will always be disappointed with ourselves and with others because we are not able to live up to perfection and we all have free will, so we are able to make our own choices, and sometimes our own choices will cause others to be disappointed in us.

The only one who will never disappoint us will be Jesus, because he did live the perfect life and was free from sin. He will never let you down and he will always be there for you, even if it is in ways that you didn't expect or plan for. So, the lesson to learn is to a) cut yourself and others some slack and bring down those expections a little and b) remember that even when other disappoint you, Jesus will never do so, so put your faith and trust in Him and not in man.

And, that my friends, is your first of many Life Lessons to come!

How To Do a One-Year-Old Birthday!

So, I know you all have been hanging on the edge of your seats wondering about how the first birthday party went on Saturday, right? Right?!?! Well, let me not disappoint you by giving you a full recap of the day, including pictures. Because I wouldn't be me if I didn't take every opportunity to post some pictures of my wonderful son!



I thought that the planning of the party was going to be minimal. I mean, after you do a 500 person, $250 a plate, black tie affair, a one-year-old party is a piece of cake, right? Hmmmmm....let me get back to you on that. After we broke our backs and our bank account trying to get the yard spruced up, there was still planning, shopping and cleaning to do, which mostly fell to me. So, I planned, shopped and cleaned until I was exhausted. At midnight Friday night, I had the house spotless, the food and favors bought, and the timeline going for in the morning. The only thing left to do was download the existing pictures and videos from the cameras, get them charged, get me showered and in the bed. That's when it happened. In an effort to download the videos from the camcorder, I accidently hit that teeny-tiny button...you know the one that automatically deletes all the videos without asking you if that's what you really want to do? In an instant, every second of my son's recorded first year of life vanished. Into thin air. Without even asking me. His first newborn days, when he learned to roll over, Christmas, pulling up, crawling and his baby dedication. All gone. Now, I know you are asking me, "Emilee, why hadn't you already downloaded those videos before midnight on the night before the party?" Hello...you might refer to my previous procrastination post. SO, anyway ~ all of the videos were gone. But, whatever ~ it was midnight and at least it was clear so I could get the party on there.

So, Saturday a.m. came and we got busy setting up tables, getting food ready, and balloons up. Good thing I had my handy-dandy timeline done because everything ran like clockwork. Rhett went down for a nap at 10:30 and got up just in time to get dressed and greet the guests, like my grandparents who arrive an hour early everywhere they go.

I was nervous about having enough activities to entertain the kids, but we ended up not having as many little ones as I thought, so it wasn't too much of a problem. My best friend, Abby, who lives outside of Atlanta, sent us a blowup pool and a bunch of balls, which was the big hit of the day.



The menu was hotdogs, hamburgers, the fixins (which I managed to leave in the fridge, only to discover after the party), potato salad, potatoes and onions, chips and sausage dip, which was awesome. For dessert, we had a 'decorate your own cupcake' station, with vanilla and chocolate cupcakes. Guests could choose from toppings like nerds, sour worms, whoppers, all kinds of sprinkles, chocolate, white chocolate or peanut butter chips, and chopped nuts. This was a big hit with the kids and adults alike.





After eating, we gave Rhett his cake that his CeeCee made for him. Much to my surprise (and his daddy's enjoyment), he didn't want anything to do with it. That is, until Branden accidently mashed his face down into it! Too bad I didn't get that with the camera, but it's on video! That is a memory to last a lifetime.



We got him cleaned up and then opened gifts, his favorite of which was the red wagon my grandparents got him. Man, he loves to ride in that thing! The cutest part of the entire day was when Evan, our friends' Jody and Ashley's 21 month old, decided he wanted to pull Rhett in the wagon. Priceless!





After all the hoopla was over, Rhett was pretty cranky ~ so we decided the best thing to do would be to....cut his hair. This was not my idea, but I'm pretty sure my husband was going to divorce me and my granddaddy might write me out of the will if we didn't cut his hair soon. So, my aunt brought her scissors and she got to work. He wasn't a big fan of hers, to say the least. At one point, he started waving 'bye-bye' to her because he wanted her to leave. But, it got done and I have to say ~ he's still a cutie! But, he sure does look more grown up.





All in all, it was a great party! We spent his actual birthday together on Monday, with a trip to Zaxby's and Wal-Mart, a couple of hundred spins in the red wagon and a few dunks in the pool. Oh ~ and I finished the book I've been glued to, so stay tuned for a book review coming shortly!

Happy Birthday!

I cannot believe that my little baby ~ the one that I prayed for, tried so hard for, carried for nine months, gained 70 lbs. for, and had my stomach cut wide open for,is ONE today! Where did the time go?!? I still remember every detail of that pregnancy and delivery. I don't know if those memories ever fade, do they? I talk to women whose children are 50 years old and they can tell you everything about their pregnancies and deliveries.

This year has been unbelievable ~ so much has changed for us and for him. He has gone from a not-so-tiny, sleeping, eating, pooping newborn to an active, discovering toddler who never stops.Sometimes ~ when he's in the bed with me in the morning, or going down for a nap and snuggles close, closes his eyes and gets really still ~ my little newborn comes back to me and all is right with the world. While I loved and will always treasure that new baby stage, this toddler stage is so much fun. When he discovers how to throw a ball, learn a new word, or find joy in the smallest thing, we discover, learn and find joy right along with him. In many ways, I have learned how to appreciate the small stuff in life all over again and it's awesome.

I look forward to the next year or growing and discovering too. For now, I will cherish where we've been and enjoy right where we are. I'll leave you with the past year in review (I'll post some pics from the party in a seperate post), which was a blast! (Because showing pics of my little boy is my favorite thing to do!). Enjoy!

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary...How Does Your Garden Grow?

...with silver bells and cockle shells, or pretty maids all in a row.

Well, not so much. But, this weekend we planted some real seeds in the yard and also some seeds of faith in the heart of our little boy. We got our garden going this weekend, by planting all new flower beds around the house and yards, trying to get ready for Rhett's birthday party on Saturday. (I'll post somed updated planning info. on that later, so stay tuned). This weekend was one of the best ever, since the three of us spend Friday and Sat. in the yard, getting dirty and planting new life to spruce up our place...I mean, we've only been there three years!


(this is our side gate, leading into the back yard. It was previously just a big empty space. Below is our front porch, which had the jasmine, but didn't have anything special in the flower beds. Please ignore the white trash chairs on the front porch. They are from Halloween. Yes, I know we are slack ~ thanks).





(this is the bed in our back yard that is a work in progress. We are planting azalea bushes all around the trees and then will fill in with pine straw. The wire is supposed to keep Dixie out. Yeah, right!).

Saturday night, we left the little one with his grandparents and went downtown with some friends for a yummy dinner and catching up on the porch at Tubby's. It was kinda pricey, but we had a great time reconnecting with them and with each other. We both decided we need date nights more often.




We wrapped up the weekend with Rhett's Baby Dedication at the church where we stood up and declared our intention to raise him in the church and to know and love the Lord. I think it's pretty cool that as I watch those flowers and plants bloom and grow in my yard over the next years, I will also be reminded of that commitment we made and hopefully be able to see the fruits of the spirit bloom and grow in his life as well.







Overall, this weekend ranks as one of my favorites. After all of the trials and tribulations we've been through lately, it's good to be on the other side of it and to have some peace and calm in our lives, to enjoy life and each other, soaking up the Sun and the Son, and loving life!